To the best of us, toddlers can be the most disagreeable human beings around. They love turning a recently tidied up room upside down, are notoriously stubborn, and have a knack for throwing the worst tantrums at the most inconvenient times. And with many cities on lockdown, many of us have been holed up at home with our tempestuous tikes 24/7.

But being in lockdown (or on a circuit breaker as my country Singapore likes to call it) with my tot in these stressful times has shown me that these little humans are also incredibly mentally resilient, perhaps even more so than me. Toddlers face so many insurmountable challenges each day, but they are dogged, always brimming with optimism, and tackling every task with gusto. What is it about a toddler that makes them so ready to play hard ball? What can we learn from them to stay positive and both mentally and emotionally well during these extraordinary times? Let me count the ways:

1. They live in the present moment, which is all we can do now

Toddlers are simply incapable of imagining the future, so they are fully focused on the here and now. My little boy immediately notices the flowers that have fallen onto the sidewalk, and rushes over to collect them; his sharp eyes pick out beetles and spiders camouflaged in the foliage; he loves being still and watching red ants scurrying single file; he never fails to point out the moon and the stars twinkling in the dark night sky.

As Dr Yoichi Sakakihara, Professor of Ochanomizu University, Director, Child Research Net, put it: “Compared with adults, children do not yet have the ability to see a self that extends temporally into the future. This, however, is not a liability, but rather an asset that allows them to view their future without gloom and fully enjoy the present feelings of happiness.”

These days, there is so much turmoil and uncertainty, and situations change day by day, sometimes from one hour to the next. For my sanity, I’ve learnt to quit incessantly worrying about things like my job security (I started a job in the hard-hit travel industry in February) and to stop planning for the immediate future, for now. I’ve grown to appreciate the simple, basic things in life, such as being able to go out for a walk, being around my family at home, working with my hands on craft projects with my son, and whipping up a home-cooked meal using the precious ingredients we got from our recent supermarket supply run… It took a virus to peel the veil of invulnerability from my eyes, and to reveal what really matters.

So let’s find ways to be more fully present. In addition to practising yoga, Author Courtney E. Ackerman of PositivePsychology.com recommends five exercises — doing a mindful body scan, writing in a journal, visualising your daily goals, taking a mindful nature walk and conducting a mindful review of your day — to remain centred on the now.

We could even get started on that long overdue decluttering to rid our homes of mess and stuff which do not really matter.

2. They live authentically, something we should aspire to do

Toddlers have no filter. They say what they mean and express their feelings seemingly without any inhibitions. They squeal in delight, they laugh at the top of their lungs, they cry rivers of tears like the whole world has been lost. They forgive and do not bear grudges (for long). In a thunderstorm, my son runs right into my arms and tells me he’s afraid. We continue embracing as I try to soothe him and explain what thunderstorms are.

As Author Simone Davies of the book The Montessori Notebook noted: “That… directness makes them very easy to be around. There are no mind games being played, no underlying motives, no politics at play. They know how to be themselves. They don’t doubt themselves. They do not judge others. We would do well to learn from them.”

There is something refreshing about being so in sync with our emotions and expressive, especially now. The World Economic Forum reports that many face stress as isolation, job prospects and family woes worsen in the COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak. Being stuck at home the whole day with our family members can also cause tensions to rise.

According to Reach Out, a leading Australian mental health organisation, one of the best and most effective things we can do to feel better is to talk with someone: “When we talk to a trusted friend, family member or health professional, tell them what’s stressing you out and why. They may not have all the answers, but just sharing what you’re going through can help get it out of your head and make it feel less scary.

“As hard as things are, it can be comforting to know that you’re not alone and that others share your feelings.”

In these trying times, perhaps it is time for us to be more like our toddlers — emotionally open and vulnerable, and honest about our feelings and fears with our loved ones. Let’s both seek and give comfort and support to those around us.

3. They have an indomitable spirit, as should we

Imagine living in a world where all your actions are scrutinised, and everyone tells you NO! just when you’ve got something fun going. Imagine constantly being misunderstood by others; not being able to feed, clothe and bathe yourself well. Imagine being largely helpless and wholly dependent on the ones who take care of you.

Our toddlers live in a world rife with obstacles every step of the way. Yet, every morning they awake, filled with such boundless energy, ready to face a new day head-on. They fall, they cry, they get back up on their way; they meltdown, the storm clouds pass, and not long after, they are bursting with love and sunshine again.

I deeply admire our toddlers’ indomitable, irrepressible spirit. Take learning to walk, what Phys.Org calls a taken-for-granted miracle. A study estimates that in an hour, 12- to 19-month-olds take 2,368 steps, travel 701 meters, and fall 17 times. Extrapolating to 6 hours (half a toddler’s typical waking day), this would translate to 14,000 steps a day (travelling the distance of 46 football fields), with 100 falls. It is amazing how much dogged determination and courage it must take for our little ones to keep going the distance, in spite of the numerous setbacks they face.

In Maria Montessori’s book The Absorbent Mind, she observed: “…if we compare our ability as adults to that of the child, it would require us sixty years of hard work to achieve what a child has achieved in these first three years.”

One part of it is developmental, but another could be the immense self belief children have, as well as the unwavering focus and innocence with which they tackle each task. They do not have a history of mistakes and failures to weigh them down, or the deep-seated scepticism that sets us grown-ups in our ways.

While we’re in various stages of lockdown, maybe it’s time to get in touch with our inner toddlers and start learning or doing something new for a change. We could pick up a new skill or hobby we’ve been putting off, such as getting started on a novel, or trying out new recipes so the family has something interesting to look forward to each meal. Or working off the extra calories we’ve gained from our more sedentary lifestyle through online yoga or fitness videos. Those who are extra motivated could even pick up a new language or skill like coding, which could enhance our job competitiveness as we enter the deepest recession in a century.

Let’s not kid ourselves — things will be very dire for many of us for possibly a very long time. But there’s hope that if we can be as resilient as the littlest of us — our toddlers — we could survive the effects of this pandemic, and maybe even emerge better than our old selves.