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Where have all the children gone?

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My son cycles as fast as he can Freewheeling through empty void decks, a lonely multi-purpose hall, a vacant square Abandoned playgrounds hastily enshrouded in hazard tape And as I run after him, I can’t help but wonder, Where have all the children gone? Just months ago, they used to fill the warm, sundrenched afternoons With the pitter-patter of scrambling feet, with screams of indignation and jollity, the jibber-jabber of little squabbles Here on the playground, alliances were forged and friendships quickly made Playgroups were amorphous, leaderless, organically formed Filled with riotous, jubilant, free-ranging kids The older ones sprinting, long…

Be like a toddler: lessons on mental resilience during a pandemic

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To the best of us, toddlers can be the most disagreeable human beings around. They love turning a recently tidied up room upside down, are notoriously stubborn, and have a knack for throwing the worst tantrums at the most inconvenient times. And with many cities on lockdown, many of us have been holed up at home with our tempestuous tikes 24/7. But being in lockdown (or on a circuit breaker as my country Singapore likes to call it) with my tot in these stressful times has shown me that these little humans are also incredibly mentally resilient, perhaps even more…

The Totobobo Mask of the times: reusable, face-fitting, comfortable and proudly Singapore-made

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When I learnt that the COVID-19 virus could be airborne, I went on the hunt for a good reusable mask for my family. But many international stores were (and the point of writing, are) sold out of their reusable masks. Besides, I am extremely wary of the rampant internet scams going on now and prefer to buy locally. I chanced upon Totobobo in a UK news article reviewing anti-pollution masks for cycling. I was thrilled to find out it is a Singaporean brand and made locally. I did more research and liked that the mask is very light (a mere…

Trabeculectomy: Day 3

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My little boy flits right by me like a silvery apparition, a ghost. I can hear his sweet husky voice calling out to me, but his face is a ghoulish swirl of beige tones that no longer cohere. I am lying in bed, my one good left eye covered in gauze. I’ve just had my second trabeculectomy surgery done, two days after the first one on my right eye. All in a bid to keep the glaucoma ravaging my sight at bay. It’s just past the one-year anniversary of my disease, or what I now call my second child. I…

Here’s how being a stay-at-home-mum for half a year has changed me.

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I quit my job in June last year to become a stay-at-home-mum (SAHM) to my now two-year-old. I do freelance writing on an ad-hoc basis (or when I can find the time), and also get a small monthly allowance from my hubby for daily essentials. After nearly half a year, here are the three main ways I think being a SAHM has changed me: 1. I’ve learnt the value of money I will be the first to admit that I’m not the most financially prudent person. I am a real sucker for marketing and there is nothing I love more…

I broke 5 cardinal rules of parenting (and this is what happened)

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Congrats! You’re a parent! And now, tread lightly, because you’re about to enter a volatile minefield of unsolicited parenting advice from just about everyone — your parents, parents-in-law, that distant aunt you only see once a year… yes even the random, gnarly old man at the bus stop. Bring your child up this or that way and there will be hell to pay! The sweet little babe will metamorphosise into a conniving, manipulative brat who drinks the tears of your parental anguish for sport! Everyone else seems to know better than you, it seems. It’s easy to feel shaken and…

How becoming a mother made me a better daughter

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Some girls go out to tea with their mums; others share clothes, handbags, jewellery and secrets. In my 30 years, my mum and I have done none of these things. I still remember the first time I tried on lip gloss as a 14-year-old. It was gooey, sparkly like unicorn poo and made me feel like a sophisticated little lady. It was also forbidden, much like spaghetti strap tops, nail polish, staying out late with friends and boys. When I got home, my mother eyed my glittery smackers with distaste and reprimanded me for being so “hiao” (a derogatory Hokkien…

5 things my painful breastfeeding journey taught me about parenthood

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The first thing that hit me when my baby latched onto me was a raw, searing pain in one of my most delicate, sensitive regions, as a hot little mouth tore away hungrily at my flesh. For many new mums, breastfeeding is brutal, animalistic, and stressful — worlds away from the angelic, sanguine depictions in hospital brochures of beaming, bashful mums with their cherubic babes swathed in pure bliss. “Breast is best”, they say, but no one prepares new mums and their not-so-lovely-anymore lady lumps for the painful slog breastfeeding is. When I started nursing my son, I didn’t think…

When the silent thief of sight comes for your eyes

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It happened in January this year. Back then, as a new mum to a one-year-old and fast approaching my 30th birthday, I felt invincible, immortal even, like I was going to live forever. And that fateful Saturday started ordinarily enough. My husband and I were making our fortnightly Queensway Shopping Centre run with our toddler to eat my favourite muah chee (glutinous rice balls with ground peanuts) and to make our yearly pair of new spectacles. At our regular optical shop, I selected a retro-looking Thom Browne frame and at the examination room, the optician placed the good ol’ pair…